As If

by david on June 12, 2011

I think I’ve figured out why its so easy to be a loser. Its because in spite of my burning desire to throw in the towel giving up is so damn difficult. According to Schopenhauer the will to live is the one driving biological force that overrules all other aspects of our existence including emotions and intellect. I guess we’re stuck with living in the face of life’s absurdity. No matter how much we would like to take charge of our lives we cannot. We can only do what we do, no matter what we wished we could do.

I love it when Dostoevsky’s Underground Man says,

“I’m the nastiest, most ridiculous, pettiest,      stupidest, and most envious worm of all those      living on earth who’re no better than me in any      way, but who, the devil knows why, never get      embarrassed.”

And like him,

“Now, I am living out my life in my corner,      taunting myself with the spiteful and useless      consolation that an intelligent man cannot      become anything seriously, and it is only the      fool who becomes anything.”

Losers and winners it would seem are one in the same except they don’t know it.

Hans Vaihinger claims we as a society invent fictions and then live “as if,” they were reality. What a joke this makes of our lives. We passionately hold to the most absurd ideas even though there is no evidence they are in any way connected to reality.

In the face of what must be my own ignorance I put forth with the greatest of enthusiasm ideas that have no basis in reality. I go on asking the these deep existential questions even though by definition I would have to invent such answers in order to give them existence.

What started this meaningless prattle I have asked you to endure is yesterday my huggy, Sophia asked me if I was at a dying age. I replied, “yes.” She looked briefly at my face and said; “that’s too bad.” I guess that about sums it up. david

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